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You Will If You Love Me

by Tight Lungs

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1.
Ego Choke 04:07
Always thought I thought well, Maybe not. At least I'm not at my moms house, With scumbag friends, Watching our brains rot. I bury myself in songs and ink. It's a bit shallow, I'll admit. I thought I was afloat, but here I sink. On and on and on and on and on, Adding to my list of sad sap songs. Always thought I wrote well, But I guess I'm just like you. Always sad sap songs, Exaggerated truth. I always knew what I was supposed to do, I just chose not to. Just keep talking to me, On my own, I self-deceive. On and on and and on and on, Adding to my list of sad sap songs. We never ever ever got anything across. (Never admitted that we were the cause) Just how cheap we are And how much love costs. Six months and one verse, I fell head over heels for the girl in the camouflage shirt. I guess it's a crutch, Writing sad sap songs when love's too hard. And I give up all the things I always fear are mostly in my head. "She never makes time, or says goodnight and she's always out with them." I always thought I had to be depressed enough, I always thought I had to make life hard enough. I always thought I knew what was best for me, but look what I got, I can't go. On and on and and on and on, Adding to my list of sad sap songs. We never ever ever got anything across. (Never admitted that we were the cause) Just how cheap we are And how much love costs.
2.
Two Voices 03:03
A well planned escape, A plane ticket going one way. Risk it all for the life you think you need. Can a beautiful place Take all your hate away? I just need to prove that I can get this by you. And we can say bad things will change And the positions we play can be rearranged, Am I missing something? And we can say bad things will change And this disease that I face isn't fair to blame, Am I missing something? How could I think that I'd be alone on that beach? I should have known that you'd be right there waiting Systematically testing for an opening to exploit me, Will I ever get through this? What to do when the gears of your mind Turn in a direction against you? I know you'll be, I know you'll be with me Until it's time I decide to lay us both to rest.
3.
I saw you laugh until you couldn't breathe, Lost my bike in a pile of leaves. Turned away from a kissing scene, This is everything, this is everything to me. Lay in the grass with the girls we loved, They always tried so hard to fix us. Steal more springs to sleep on the trampoline, Lets put some tension between us now. And so it brings us back to this. (I knew it, I knew everything) So what the fuck were you expecting of me? (We lost it, We lost everything) I hope it's still in your heart that we grew up the same. Was it really the drugs and the drinking? I hope it's still in your heart that I never changed, These memories that I can't let you take from me. Knew the time by planes gone by, Can we make it home by midnight? Before locked doors and lights off, I never thought we'd be so lost. Don't ever want to forgot the summers spent. Forgot towels for Reanna's pool again. Please don't take this away from me, Please just let me keep these memories. Kissing girls with my friends around, I used to have it all in one town. Running from the cops, from teenage roadblocks, Will we ever make it out of here? Am I supposed to fall down and let go? Empty roads and empty shows lets go. It's nights like these when the smell of pine trees is tearing me apart, It's the music of our youth, I'll keep and carry in my heart.
4.
Lov'd Alone 04:07
Let me try to explain, Forgive my hands inside my pockets They just hide when they shake. I've settled for less again. And I should give it a rest, I've just always had the self-esteem of second best. It's not me, It's you and them. I know it's wrong, know it’s wrong, I just can't get along. Forgive my unkempt hair and hot-cold heart. Come on, come on, I just don't belong And I've got nowhere to go. And I could use some help, She's always in her head somewhere else. Doing something else with someone else. And I'm not the one in the white box, She's not the one that's not at fault. My heads been spinning for months and days. And If it's all the same, I'll be on my way. I'm not afraid of myself some days, I'm no longer in a rut that I cannot shake. I'll remember river nights and those Sundays, But if its all the same, Please stay away. You run, I chase 'til my legs give way. But I run, you stay And find someone to take my place. I've always known That we die alone. I tell myself to just let go And stop staring at my phone. Tight lips, hard heart. Bad end, bad start. Hard heads learn slow, Ray knew, but I chose.
5.
Departures 03:40
How could I leave you standing there, In tears, same way that I left you before? I know it seems like I don't care, When all I wanted was to see that scene with you. What could I possibly say? Departures carried out by plane. (Can I really last here without you?) (Can you make yourself live with anything?) I'm feeling so lost by take off, Could it be my heart is home and here with you? (You are all the world like a nest to me) (You are all the world like a nest to me) I know it's hard to see why I had to leave, Come back to me, Come back to me. I will become a torch for you, an aerial. I will fall from the sky like ancient radio waves of flawed concrete. I won't ever forget how you fixed me, This love between us is ours forever now. From this infection, hope. From this island, flight. From this grief, love. I am the aerial, In my passing I will send news to each and every star.
6.
Wait for the ocean, wait for the right tides. And I’ll be there with you, just like you wanted me to. Wait for this beach town to light up this light house And I can remember a time when we both felt fine And you still loved me. Though I cannot see you, you will never truly leave. I can still hear your voice, I can feel you next to me. With everything said and with everything we’ve done, You are still somehow the girl that I love. So let the curtains fall and let the waves crash in, An acting career begins. When you're lying there with him, while you're feeding lies to me, It seems you've displayed your act for everybody. Does it hurt to be alone? Because it's all I've ever known. I just need to let this go, I just need to let you go. I need to let you go. Wait for the ocean, wait for the right tides. So I can start to forget The reasons you left, How little I mean to you. Wait for your parents to be finally accepting of me, I swear that I’m not that bad, I swear that I tried my best. There’s only one regret I've had since we had talked last And it's not letting you know No one believes all the stories that you told. So let the curtains fall and let the waves crash in, An acting career begins. When you're lying there with him, while you're feeding lies to me, It seems you've displayed your act for everybody. Does it hurt to be alone? Because it's all I've ever known. I just need to let this go, I just need to let you go. I need to let you go.
7.
I know I said "Don't be like this, You know you are what's on the tip of my tongue, On the tip of my tongue." I want so much just to change this, Your minds made up, I guess it's time to move on. But if that's not what I want? There's no such thing As only friends. "We're over", Means the end. Lucky for you, My life's become your personal turnstile. For you to come and go, Whenever you want to. Just like the first time that we met, Not like you would remember it. You always did your best to forget. (It’s you and me or you can leave) Always complain how you never win. Well when I make a list of all the things I hate, I'll be sure to put you first. If this was all for nothing, then nothing I am.
8.
Head Swells 01:11
9.
Not Strong 02:08
I know now you're just weak, But I guess writing this kind of makes me less. There was a time when I tried too hard, When I came to low places where you choose to stay. There came a time to change, When the ends of my days all felt the same. I'll just shut my mouth and forget this.
10.
Cold Sweat 05:45
It's alright now, He's less love-blind. Not great, but he's okay. She accepts no guilt and feels no shame. He figured out they're not the same, Or just not on the same page. He runs, but she's always just a call away. Where did I go And how did I get here so fast? I remember the height of my highs, Things I left behind, with nothing to show now. Tall talks to calm me at night And I forgot myself sometimes. Second class in my own home, Second place to the boy behind the phone. It was the best nights sleep he had in three months to the day, He lost his love and still felt like he gained. That day she met him and she told him What she'd done and what she wanted. He forgot himself again out of pure infatuation. Her will was to keep his worth, Where he never came to thinking he comes first. He was the farthest thing from her mind, He say it's fine it's just a game they play with pride. He blames her lack of wisdom and overlooks his own, He's got something deep down that begs to be alone. It's alright now, He's less love-blind. Not great, but he's okay. She accepts no guilt and feels no shame. He figured out they're not the same, Or just not on the same page. He runs, but she's always just a call away. Where did I go And how did I get here so fast? I remember the height of my highs, Things I left behind, with nothing to show now. Tall talks to calm me at night And I forgot myself sometimes. Second class in my own home, Second place to the boy behind the phone. She did and said these things that just aren't right, Then I start fights, instead of leaving her like I should/ It did far more harm than good. His heads not right, but he's so sure. His heads not right, but he's so sure. My heads not right, I'm so unsure. But I know I can't love this anymore. I've gone numb In my hands. Scared to death This night will be my last. I don't want to cause anyone any harm, But sometimes, these church basements are the only thing Between a needle and my arm. I was once so strong, but now I'm just so scared. What the fuck happened to me? I used to be at peace, I used to be able to sleep. I've played the victim long enough and I've laid it on thick. My self-pity's peaked high this time and I make myself sick. What the fuck happened to us? We were once blind and were lead by a sense of touch. Tight lipped, Hard heart. Tall pride, Falls far.
11.
I never thought I would let it get this far, Just an ending to losing everything I loved. (I loved) No guts left to throw up, No gods left to believe in. I was left alone down here for so long. (So long) How could I expect to fix this? The drugs and alcohol mixed with A decaying mind, under a rock solid sky And not knowing their voices apart from mine. My eye has seen our rocky grave extends, Holes in my mind are increasingly gaping. Am I not a man of God? If I was created in his self-image, then tell me what went wrong? Where were you to help my Mom? I pretend you are real to hear how much I hate you. Am I not a man of God? If I was created in his self-image, then tell me what went wrong? Lost touch with right from wrong, I've lost years to this, I've lost years to this. I saw it in their eyes, they meant every word they said. I'm so afraid that I am just the same. Fight with these voices, but then again I can't tell the difference between me and them. What you seek lies In the shafts beyond this collapsing of the sky. And if you look closely, so do I. Hide and seek turned to seek and hide And I buried them here beneath the rock solid sky. We are not the same, Am I the same? I can feel the walls closing in, Tunnels turning in confusion. Find out how far removed you truly can be. Hide and seek turned to seek and hide And I buried them here beneath the rock solid sky. We are not the same, Am I the same?

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released July 19, 2015

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Tight Lungs Hammonton, New Jersey

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